Do not be afraid to discipline. Discipline is not negative. Its goal is positive. The root of the word discipline means “disciple” or “follower.” To discipline is to show or to help someone become a follower of the appropriate way to have or to handle a situation. There are 3 parts to disciplining a child of any age.
Instruct: You must teach and ensure that the child understands what is expected. Communicate your trust in his or her ability to meet these expectations. Also, explain why these expectations are important through discussion and questioning. Help the student to see herself why rules, or specific rules, are important.
Train: You must show and practice these expectations yourself and through experiences teach the child how and when to act on what is expected of him or her. Acquiring correct habits is a process that takes practice. When a child is doing something that you have expected of him/her, praise the child explicitly for the correct or expected behavior. It is always best to start out positive. “Thanks for being on time. This shows me that you care about our time together.” Or, “Thanks for coming today. I am glad we get to work together.”
Many misbehaviors come from the need for attention or an inability to deal with strong emotions appropriately. Many of our students are used to getting attention negatively, and continue to seek attention in this way. It is our job not to reinforce this, and to encourage and to give attention for positive behaviors.
Correct: If the child does not do what is expected, he or she must be corrected. As a role model, it is your job to do this. You must require respect from your student. Many times children will test to see if you really will set boundaries, and how you will react to their misbehavior. Correcting a behavior will let the student know that you care about her and will not accept anything less from him/her.
The most effective way to correct a child is not by showing your anger, raising your voice, or behaving in a manner in which you would not want the child to react. The best way to correct behavior is to state calmly what the inappropriate behavior is: “Right now, you are _____________. This behavior is inappropriate.” Either explain or solicit from the child why this behavior is inappropriate. You can also start out positively: “Thanks for coming today. I appreciate you being here. However, we are here to work, and you came unprepared. You know that you are expected to come prepared. I care about you being successful and I want to help you get there…”
Help students understand why they did not act appropriately, and then help them to see how they could have handled the situation differently. You need to make explicit through communication, what is often left unsaid or not part of the process.
